My friend Sharon at Everything Beautiful started last year with posting a word that she felt God was putting on her heart…she did it again this year, and I liked the idea, so I decided to think and pray about what was something God was asking of me this year.  I came across some really great words, but this one word stood out.  It started when I had a gift card to the bookstore.  Trying to find a few books that I wanted, because honestly, I wanted about 100 of them, was difficult…but I narrowed it down to 3 books.  I was a big lover of All My Children when it was on (I grew up on it, thanks to my mom), so I bought Susan Lucci’s new book All My Life.  I also am a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman was thrilled to pick up Mary Beth Chapman’s book Choosing to See…I can’t wait to dive into it (no pun intended) …knowing I probably won’t put it down when I do. Hoping to hear more about their adoption story and knowing she really delved deep into following God and their struggles…I just imagine we would be good friends.  Maybe her mansion will be next to mine in Heaven…and Beth Moore’s too. And the last book I picked up was Lysa Terkeurst’s new book Made to Crave. I have read Lysa’s stuff before, but this book intrigued me because of the tagline…Satisfying your Deepest Desire with God, not food.  Oh, amen and amen and amen.  I am thrilled to say I am a few pages in and L.O.V.I.N.G it.  It’s challenging…although I think I am most ready to hear it now.

So, finding the word…As I spent the first few days listening to Passion 2012 online, I was moved to action.  Immediately I sensed the Lord just giving me this new hunger for His Word.  I cried, I laughed, I worshipped…it was so good, I shared time with my oldest son watching and listening with him…and he was taking it all in too.  As I spent time with God over the last few days, it was as if major overhaul was taking place. It wasn’t just me either. There were several college students we knew down there and major life changing was taking place with them…and then one of their parents was listening and she was saying she was feeling the Lord speaking to her as well in a new and different way.  To put myself out there and be honest, it’s been a rough couple of years.  I am vocal about things, but I am selective about who I am vocal too…I have seen way too many pastor wives not choose wisely in that manner.  But at the same time, I felt like maybe I had been silent long enough.  The continuous spinning of wheels and no forward progress was getting on my last nerve.  And then it came….the revelation that I was depending so much on the circumstances of our church to dictate how I was feeling about my relationship with my Lord.  UGH…that sinking feeling of stupidity.  I mean, duh. How not smart is that?  So, long story short, I confessed it and proclaimed that it will be no more…because we (me and God) are going to have an awesome year…regardless.  I also told Jeremy that we (him and I) were going to have one too.  I believe that…regardless.

One word kept coming to my mind….CRAVE. I wanted to be craving Jesus more than anything on earth.  And then, while reading, I came across one of my favorite verses…it actually came to me in song first.

Psalm 84: 1-2  ”How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty! My soul years, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”

If the definition in the dictionary of craving is longing for, wanting more, begging for…then I want all those things as it pertains to the One who chose me long ago…who sent His son for me…who loves loves loves me…and who called me to serve Him all the days of my life.

Here’s to Craving more of Jesus!

Karen