My friend Sharon at Everything Beautiful started last year with posting a word that she felt God was putting on her heart…she did it again this year, and I liked the idea, so I decided to think and pray about what was something God was asking of me this year.  I came across some really great words, but this one word stood out.  It started when I had a gift card to the bookstore.  Trying to find a few books that I wanted, because honestly, I wanted about 100 of them, was difficult…but I narrowed it down to 3 books.  I was a big lover of All My Children when it was on (I grew up on it, thanks to my mom), so I bought Susan Lucci’s new book All My Life.  I also am a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman was thrilled to pick up Mary Beth Chapman’s book Choosing to See…I can’t wait to dive into it (no pun intended) …knowing I probably won’t put it down when I do. Hoping to hear more about their adoption story and knowing she really delved deep into following God and their struggles…I just imagine we would be good friends.  Maybe her mansion will be next to mine in Heaven…and Beth Moore’s too. And the last book I picked up was Lysa Terkeurst’s new book Made to Crave. I have read Lysa’s stuff before, but this book intrigued me because of the tagline…Satisfying your Deepest Desire with God, not food.  Oh, amen and amen and amen.  I am thrilled to say I am a few pages in and L.O.V.I.N.G it.  It’s challenging…although I think I am most ready to hear it now.

So, finding the word…As I spent the first few days listening to Passion 2012 online, I was moved to action.  Immediately I sensed the Lord just giving me this new hunger for His Word.  I cried, I laughed, I worshipped…it was so good, I shared time with my oldest son watching and listening with him…and he was taking it all in too.  As I spent time with God over the last few days, it was as if major overhaul was taking place. It wasn’t just me either. There were several college students we knew down there and major life changing was taking place with them…and then one of their parents was listening and she was saying she was feeling the Lord speaking to her as well in a new and different way.  To put myself out there and be honest, it’s been a rough couple of years.  I am vocal about things, but I am selective about who I am vocal too…I have seen way too many pastor wives not choose wisely in that manner.  But at the same time, I felt like maybe I had been silent long enough.  The continuous spinning of wheels and no forward progress was getting on my last nerve.  And then it came….the revelation that I was depending so much on the circumstances of our church to dictate how I was feeling about my relationship with my Lord.  UGH…that sinking feeling of stupidity.  I mean, duh. How not smart is that?  So, long story short, I confessed it and proclaimed that it will be no more…because we (me and God) are going to have an awesome year…regardless.  I also told Jeremy that we (him and I) were going to have one too.  I believe that…regardless.

One word kept coming to my mind….CRAVE. I wanted to be craving Jesus more than anything on earth.  And then, while reading, I came across one of my favorite verses…it actually came to me in song first.

Psalm 84: 1-2  ”How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty! My soul years, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”

If the definition in the dictionary of craving is longing for, wanting more, begging for…then I want all those things as it pertains to the One who chose me long ago…who sent His son for me…who loves loves loves me…and who called me to serve Him all the days of my life.

Here’s to Craving more of Jesus!

Karen

Nope, not my mantra for the year…

Like I said in the previous post I did some reading last summer…Eat Pray Love was actually a Christmas gift to my mom. I bought her the book and the movie and she really only wanted the movie.  So, I gladly took the book back from her.  I started reading it after school ended in May and I finished it while we were in Hawaii.  It took me FOREVER to get through the Pray part…find that amusing, coming from a Pastor’s Wife, do ya??  Well, when I explain it, you’ll know why!

I will say I have not seen the movie still…so don’t ruin it by telling me the book isn’t anything like the movie or visa versa, okay?

I quickly devoured (pun intended) the first part of the book…you know, the EAT part.  Who wouldn’t love spending some time in Italy??  Eating their way through it… I say no one.  When I got to the PRAY part, it was hard to follow, since my belief didn’t coincide with what she was seeking…I pressed on through it though and learned a lot.  Brought me back to the World Religions class in College….I am all for seeking communion with the One True God.  During the reading of this, my husband and I were vacationing in Hawaii for our anniversary. Thanks to his prodding, well his pushing, to actually just sit and read, I made it through the rest of PRAY and headed into LOVE…my favorite chapter.  Had it been at the front, the whole plot and movie would have never happened!  The LOVE part was insanely juicy…I won’t lie about that.  And the overall conclusion is I really enjoyed the book.  I don’t have to agree with all the parts to say I like the book.  The God she talked about may not be the same God I believe in – the One True God who created the Heavens and the Earth, who sent his One and Only son to die on my behalf so the He could have a relationship with me – but I was encouraged by her words to pursue The Lover of My Soul even more.

Thanks Elizabeth Gilbert!

Karen

I was blessed by David’s teacher last year at the end of May when she gave me a Barnes and Noble gift card.  I was thinking how I never get to buy books for myself and in preparing to go to Hawaii, I wanted something great to read.  As I searched the aisles, this book stood out just by design alone.  A pretty blue background with balloons…now, who wouldn’t be just a little curious, right?  So, I picked it up and read the inside cover and knew I had to have this book. From her rawness to her cute pic with her son, Kai, to the fact she is an English teacher, I was drawn in.

I started reading it late in the summer, since I was finishing up another book, and I finished it in a week…with many tears and prayers lifted up for this sweet person…I would grow to feel like we were friends. She could have been any one of us…newly married…now expecting their first child…when the unexpected happens – her husband, age 27, dies in a sports-related accident.   I cannot even begin to describe how I would feel, but her true, real, emotional rawness was mesmerizing.  I thought things like ‘yep, that’s exactly how I would feel’ or gracious ‘how in the world did she make it through this?’.  Her words, minus the cuss words, were riveting and kept me on the edge.  Although she uses language that will stop you in your tracks, you can’t help but see how difficult this journey is.  She uses affectionate words for members of her family…you can tell how close they all are.  She describes the navigating she must now do with her late husbands family.  Her humor is amusing and she makes me laugh A LOT throughout the whole book.  It’s a little warped humor at times, but given the situation, do you dare question it?

She teaches High School English, and she should be praised for that alone, but she compares and contrasts some of the greatest written books with her situation and I loved that about her!  Her favorite book, The Great Gatsby, is one of my faves too…so I enjoyed all the references to it.  She has a passion for teaching and it’s evident.

I wrote to Natalie after I read her book.  She responded too and I think and pray for her often.

She has a blog – Signs of (real) Life and her website is Natalie Taylor

Go and check her out!

Karen